Hurricanes are the most powerful storms on earth. Beyond their earth shaking, city destroying, life taking power, they’re also incredibly unpredictable. Even with the modern advances within the science community, we still don’t know when they’ll hit. I’ve seen a number of videos of hurricanes over the course of my life. They’re absolutely terrifying.
To hear Troy describe his bipolar disorder as a hurricane sends chills down my spine. What’s even scarier is that our understanding of bipolar hasn’t caught the tailwind that hurricane studies have. Much like hurricanes, bipolar disorder is an unavoidable part of so many people’s reality. Yes, there are warning signs for depressive or manic episodes but even then, it’s not like someone can just pack up and escape. For Troy, his only option is to experience the episode and hope it doesn’t destroy the entire town. After one of these mental storms, I imagine his mind looks a lot like those pictures of coastal towns shortly after the storm passes. In ruins. Hopeless. In dire need of help. However, unlike the people devastated by earth’s greatest storm, Troy doesn’t want to seek help.
You see, the bipolar storm doesn’t always pass like a hurricane does. Oftentimes it persists and tries to strangle any semblance of peace from my friend. That includes shutting out people who could help. Rather than reaching for assistance, asking for help becomes just another burden for Troy. As he sits in the midst of the ruins of his mind, the last thing he wants is ultimately the thing he needs the most. Support.
Humans are relational beings. We thrive in communities and, better yet, tribes. Having a group of people who you can relate to and rely on when life inevitably hits with something that is too tough to bear alone; being a part of a tribe can literally save your life. In our darkest hours, having a support network is so vital.
I’m of the opinion that everyone deserves the type of support we can only attain from a community. Furthermore, each of us have a shared entitlement to love. So when I hear my friend purposely deny himself the very thing he needs to rebuild from his mental hurricane; it crushes me.
Who would prefer to suffer in silence? My answer to that is someone who needs support the most. In Troy’s article, he said he would rather rebuild alone because it’s better than pushing his friends away. But friends don’t allow themselves to get pushed away. Especially in the darkest of times. Instead, friends roll with the punches. A true friend goes into the devastation, pushing past the rubble to get them the help they deserve. Even if that means hurting some feelings in the short term. My role is clear in these situations and although it may not be what Troy ideally wants at times, it’s my job to be there for my friend.
Although I disagree with his proposed solution, this is one of the few times that I agree with Troy. Bipolar is very much like a hurricane; there’s no doubt about that. I’ve seen it for myself. However, seemingly like everything in life, even hurricanes serve a greater purpose. Yes, hurricanes can cause catastrophic damage, but they also regulate our climate. Without them, our world would be inhabitable. Fortunately in our world, everything is balanced. Yin does not exist on its own; there’s always a yang. The way I see it, if even the most destructive force on the planet is balanced by an indispensable purpose, perhaps the same can be said of bipolar. Maybe that’s our role as friends of people suffering from this incredibly tough disorder. To embody bipolar’s opposite. As our friends and loved ones deal with the immense weight of depression and anxiety that comes along with bipolar, maybe we can be the balance of love and support they so desperately need. Maybe, just maybe, this terrible disorder makes us all better people in the end.
“Love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them… Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive… There’s something about love that builds up and is creative.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
Troy’s Article
If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please do not hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1–800–273-TALK (8255). This is a free, 24/7 confidential service that can provide people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress, or those around them, with support, information, and local resources. For more information, call or visit www.suicidepreventionhotline.org.