Our story begins in a catholic high school. Ironically, the closest place to heaven for me and hell for Troy. It’s funny, I haven’t thought much about high school despite the fond memories I have of it. Unfortunately for Troy, I think this is the opposite case due in large part to his bipolar disorder. In a way, high school defined our experience in life.
For me it was a chance to make jokes, hang with a variety of people, and prepare me for college and my future. Everyday was a new opportunity to make someone laugh, talk to someone new, and question what I was being taught.
For Troy, everyday felt like he was a prisoner; having to go to a place that didn’t accept him. Each day was the same, going through the motions just waiting for the relief of the final bell.
As adults, our lives mirror a very similar existence. I continued my exploration of life; meeting new friends, traveling the country, and sharpening my talent for storytelling and comedy. Troy remained imprisoned; this time not by a school or his surroundings but by his own mind.
It’s interesting that Troy and I are such good friends. I suppose it’s a Yin Yang relationship. Whereas I have endless self confidence, Troy has none. I idle on optimistic and constantly dream of the future while Troy struggles to find something to be joyful about and is often certain that will never change. It’s not his fault for thinking this way. If his tough upbringing and adolescence weren’t troublesome enough, Troy was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2013. Living with bipolar means that his mind will hyper-focus on the negative for a season and be completely unshakeable the next.
It’s tough to watch, let alone indirectly experience it with him.
As we’ve grown as friends, I’ve learned that I know very little about the mindset of someone with bipolar. I’ve also learned that even professionals know very little about it. However, my knowledge of being a friend to someone with that ailment has only increased. This gives me some hope for the future, I hope it’s also done the same for Troy.
At this point, mental health has been a forgotten subject within our culture here in America. If you struggle with mental illness, there’s very little support because of this. And when there is very little support, the only solution is to numb your feelings or stop them entirely. If you’re like me and don’t struggle with a mental illness but know someone who does; there isn’t a clear path on what you can do to help, or if you even can. Of course both of these conclusions aren’t acceptable, at least not for me. As Troy and I have talked about, numbing his emotions is a non solution, suicide is out of the question, and I absolutely need to play a part in supporting him to ensure that does not happen.
There are many people like myself and Troy in the world. Uncertain of how to be a good friend to someone who struggles with depression, mania, or thoughts of suicide. Completely hopeless that bipolar is something that could get better, even with the help of a friend. If you’re reading this and you fall in either of those categories, we’re here to help. Not because we know the answer (spoiler alert we don’t), but because we’re going through it too. Our hope is that our vulnerability and experience can resonate with you and at the very least assure you that other people are feeling precisely what you are. We will never claim to have all the answers, but like our friendship we’ll be honest with you, empathetic, and take it one day at a time.
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”
Mother Teresa
Troy’s Article: https://just-ablog.com/?p=303
If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please do not hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1–800–273-TALK (8255). This is a free, 24/7 confidential service that can provide people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress, or those around them, with support, information, and local resources. For more information, call or visit www.suicidepreventionhotline.org.