I’ve recently started tracking my days. What occurred throughout the day, how I feel about those things that happened. Want to know what I discovered?
I’m not as happy as I thought I was.
I can’t lie, this depressed me when I came to this realization. Before I had real data in my hands, I had always assumed I was leading a very happy and fulfilling life. However, after tracking my days; I realized my life can be described as “meh”. This begged me to ask everyone’s favorite question from the time when we were toddlers. Why?
To answer this fully, I think it’s important to understand how I define my good days from my bad days. The tracker I use allows me to customize and weight the various aspects that I believe make up a good day. Things like prayer, meditation, exercise, reading and writing, eating healthy, spending time with friends and family, listening more than talking, giving more than spending on myself and so on. The little things, as I like to call them. Really that’s what they are; small choices that lead to larger impacts in my overall mood.
Until I started tracking these things, I didn’t realize how little time I actually gave them. It’s easy to let small things fall to the wayside to make room for the apparent big things that seem to matter more. Since I have been tracking my days, I have traveled a lot, booked and performed comedy shows, enjoyed holidays and get togethers with family and friends, received a promotion at work, and have enjoyed a lot of what I would call big moments. Through all of that, I haven’t had one day that I qualified as “great”. There were a lot of good days and, don’t get me wrong, I’m immensely grateful for them. But It’s clear something has been missing for me.
Had I not been tracking my days, I might not have been able to uncover the root of my unhappiness. After all, a lot of big, positive changes happened in my life. However, when it comes to my well being, it’s not the spotlight, big accomplishments, trips around the country, or times with friends or family that truly fulfill me.
It’s the little things.
It’s starting my day with prayerful gratitude, grounding myself for the day that’s ahead. Running around the country is nice, but running around my block prepares my body for travel. Sharing my art onstage for people to enjoy is my passion, but filling my mind with a good book or just writing for me inspires and enhances my craft. Yes, I love the time I have with my loved ones but loving times when I’m alone is essential for my well being.
Recently, I had my first “great” day. And yet, nothing out of the ordinary happened. The day was actually pretty average. There wasn’t a big event or terrific experience. Rather, it was a day full of little things that added up to a pretty big realization for me. Together they completely adjusted my perspective. Now that I have been tracking how I am taking care of myself and the things I deem important for my well being, something shifted inside me. My mindset during this day was unshakeable and rooted in gratitude. There wasn’t anything specifically that I could point to and say, “I’m grateful for that”. Rather, I was just grateful to be alive.
I hope big things happen for you. I wish you all the best in your pursuit of whatever it is that you think will make you happy. The promotion and salary increase, the car or house you’ve dreamed up, a relationship that fulfills you completely. I pray it all happens for you. But they won’t deliver you the joy you’re longing for. Sure the feeling you have in those moments will be amazing, but it won’t last forever. So, in addition to your life changing moments, I pray you also find your little things. The things that make the lulls of life feel more like the things worth living for. Because if my life is any indication, the little things are some of the most important moments of our lives.